Why calling a guy pretty doesn't mean the same thing as calling a girl pretty.
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I’ve been called that by women but never by men. The girls who tell me that always seem to be attracted to me. I don’t think I’d find it an insult I a guy called me that. I’d probably just grin and say, “I know.” Sounds douchey, but it’s better to come off a little douchey than to get defensive.
It is a mild insult but when actually said, it is not intended or expected to offend anyone.
At worst, you are suggesting that the man you are referring to is attractive, but too soft and effeminate for the
brutish task at hand. At best, you're saying that you're jealous of the guy.
I actually hate when girls or guys call me that because it suggests I’m too dainty or too sensitive to do anything other than focus on my appearance. Yes i do put effort in how i dress and how i style my hair but that doesn’t mean I’m too much of a pussy to work hard and get my hands dirty from time to time. I work on my car, i unclog toilets, i clean drains, etc. idk maybe I’m not alone here but i hate being called this nickname.
A figurative faggot called me ugly, so I called him a pretty boy, mocking his cowardice for not showing his face. His accusation has truth in it because I AM somewhat ugly, just as I am somewhat handsome. I'm average.
I think it's more a descriptive neutral rather than it being good or bad as it describes a type of look rather than the positive or negative connotation of that look. (but that only applies to England as that's where I am from).
So here's a question that you sort of hit on at the very end. A few of my friends and I were wondering whether or not gender queer will continue to be a label people attach to themselves if/when the social construct of "gender" disappears. I understand that people do feel like their gender and physical sex don't match sometimes - and I beyond respect that, but how much of this feeling do you believe is social construct?
I've noticed that when used as an insult it seems to be coming more from males, and likely ones that are insecure in their own sexuality and personage so they have to put others down. But that is the truth for most bullies. I've rarely heard a lady used it as an insult. Instead using it to describe a non-traditionally attractive male (lean, long hair, soft features) who is quite attractive. I'm not sure but I think the "manly man is attractive by being super manly" was more made up by what MEN think a man should be than what women want. If the drooling over characters like Legolas, Loki, Spencer Reid and many others with a solid female following who are interested partially BECAUSE of how pretty those guys are.
It's like calling a guy cute. It can go either way if a woman says it, but if a guy says it it's an insult.
My go-to comeback to someone saying that "You're prettier than [female]" is just to say that I come from better stock.
Though many women don't understand this, its insulting
Perhaps not as much coming from a woman but from our gender peers
Its a behavior in our eyes, and not a comment on how attractive we are
Men don't care what other guys looks like
And it is a behavior that is often associated with and I quote ‘douchebags’
I thought the use of "pretty boy" was only an insult to those who used it as a way to describe a man who can not provide. I've really only heard it used that way in the south in a serious way.
I have heard it from older men using it to describe kids or young men who did not work on a farm or fix things or provide for family because they thought they could get by on their looks. Just how Ive seen it. I've also heard it to describe fairly good looking men who are going to school.
PRETTY BOY = GOOD GENES IN TERMS OF LOOKS BUT POOR GENES IN TERMS OF TESTOSTERONE PRODUCTION
ITS BOTH A COMPLIMENT AND AN INSULT AT THE SAME TIME
THE GOOD NEWS FOR PRETTY BOYS IS MANY WOMEN DONT EVEN WANT A HIGH TESTOSTERONE GUY AS IN THEY GENUINELY DONT FIND THEM ATTRACTIVE. BUT ID SAY MORE DO PREFER HIGH T
THE PREFECT GUY IS LIKE PITT OR DEPP WHERE THEY ARE DEAD CENTER BETWEEN PRETTY BOY AND HANDSOME MAN BECAUSE THEY APPEAL TO EVERY1
IF IT WAS DI CAPRIO VS GEORGE CLOONEY, GEORGE WOULD WIN THE POPULARITY CONTEST FOR ATTRACTION, BUT LEO WOULD HAVE A MASSIVE AMOUNT OF WOMEN LIKE HIM TOO
LASTLY SOME GUYS DONT CARE SO MUCH ABOUT WOMEN DIRECTLY BUT RATHER HOW THEY MATCH UP TO OTHER MEN AND PRETTY BOY IS NOT GOOD AS FAR AS RANK AMONG MEN IS CONCERNED
Truei m the same as you, pretty much, im very very honest though. I know my weaknesses and strengths. Yea no one has it all, everyone has advantages and disadvantages, its kinda unfair that manly looking men are the only ones accepted as men, when really a pretty guy can be stronger faster bigger and more virile than him, but just doesn't look manly in the face. Thats life. I am stronger faster etc than most manly men I compete with in sports. But most ppl would guess otherwise at first glance. It would be a good guess too as a high testosterone manly male is probably more likely to be stronger more virile etc but not always.
For what it's worth, the Oxford English Dictionary defines "pretty-boy" as: " A man who is attractive in a feminine way; an effeminate or narcissistic man; (also) a male homosexual; (ironically) a thug, a ruffian, a heavy." (OED Third Edition, March 2007)
I think the best word for how it makes us feel is Emasculating. Let's put it this way. I would feel most attractive after emerging from the woods after being lost for a week: unshaven, dirty, and bloody, armed with nothing but the new story of how I survived a week in the woods, oh my God, I just had the best idea for a beer commercial.
Basically, calling me a "pretty boy" (or even sometimes "cute") puts a wedge between me and manhood.
I definitely think it can be both. In western culture, it veers towards insult far more often, from what I've seen, as it indicates a shallowness about that "boy" as if there were nothing to them beyond their prettiness. However, in more East Asian culture, it's increasingly positive? In the last like 5 years in SKR, cosmetics "for men" sales have shot up by almost 63% because of the influence of the popular "flower boy" trend. It's kinda interesting how not caring about "prettiness" overseas is now being interpreted as "lazy" even, when compared with how it's seen as things like pretentious and "prissy" in the US. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Depends on who is saying it and who they are saying it to. I have had people comment on my clothes and when I thank them, they have a confused look like "You do know I was insulting you? Right?" But they don't actually say that. Do you think I am weird for thanking people who insult me?
Only if it is intended as an insult, it is one. Used as a complement, then it is one. Straight boys saying "pretty boy" to another boy would be considered as an insult, because they are making fun of them, referring to the feminine "pretty". Complements on the other hand are usually said by straight women because they're referring to attractiveness or like they're saying "he is so cute!" (I am saying "straight girls/boys" because this topic is kind of about heterosexuality.)
As a relatively androgynous transguy, I'd be actually pretty cool with being called a pretty boy, since, hey, the person calling me that at least sees me as a dude.
On that note, why are (generally young) women who are less feminine/have traditionally masculine interests called tomboys? Shouldn't it be tomgirls?
My boyfriend and I stick to using a so called group of "feminine" adjectives when we compliment each other, using almost exclusively terms such as pretty and beautiful but never words such as handsome. We often discuss the absurdities of social constructs and perceived norms and we're both happy to largely ignore them and just be us.
I don't think it's necessarily an insult, but it is something that my husband and his friends joke around about (but my husband is a joker, so pretty much anything is up for it). It's amusing to me to hear so many comments about liking pretty boys- I'm usually not a fan. But perhaps that's because I'm not a traditionally "pretty" girl. In my experience it's sort of similar to metrosexual, kind of just depends on who is using it whether or not it's an insult.
I guess in the end whether it it's an insult or not, it depends on the way the person says it? If they say it as a compliment and mean it as a compliment, why wouldn't it be a compliment? And if they say it in a derogatory way, well they're pretty much butt-holes. Because "pretty" is usually used to describe someone with dainty features, which, you know, it's something women are praised for, because that's "what we're supposed to be" *sarcastic tone*, it must be TERRIBLY INSULTING *sarcastic tone once again* FOR A GUY TO BE DEGRADED TO A FEMALE CHARACTERISTIC... In the end I find it more insulting for people to think that "pretty boy" is an insult (like how calling a guy a "girl" or a "pussy" it's like the worst thing you could possibly say) than the phrase itself. But hey, I guess I as a girl would feel wierd if someone called me handsome pretty much because I'm not used to it.
I had never taken Pretty boy to be negative. Personally, I like being called a pretty boy.
however, I do see how todays' sexist standards of "pretty" being feminine could go along with the sexist idea that boys and men can't be in touch with their feminine side and if they play with dolls or do "girly" things, they will become gay or some BS like that.
I think we need to toss gender rolls out the window and raise our kids in gender neutral ways so that they can find themselves their own way. I know if I have kids I'll be teaching them that being a pretty boy is just as ok as being a tomgirl. they are two sides of the same coin.
evolving. I've been called pretty boy. And all my life i've understood it as an insult. meaning weak. Then seeing the term changing to gay. I'm not gay. But more then any things i hate being called a boy.
Can you do a video on why 'oh he/she is just out of my league' where did that come from? Why, if you like someone, do they suddenly become better than you and you don't deserve them? Why do I use this to justify not trying/putting myself out there in relationships? Is it socially ingrained? What purpose could it possibly serve?
I'll stop there. And by the way I love you, and your videos, and thank you for sharing your beautiful self with the world.
I definitely use it as a compliment more often than not when referring to males. It's funny though, because my boyfriend HATES to be called "pretty" or "cute" because he feels that as a man, he should only be called handsome.
Personally, I think it depends on the guy. Some guys (especially those concerned with masculinity) would certainly take it as an insult, while others (like my boyfriend, whom I nicknamed "pretty") take it as a compliment.
P.s. That ring is beautiful!! :) congrats to you two!
I have used pretty boy as an insult before, but not as a less masculine way, but more self absorbed way to highlight his poor actions. But I also think that there is nothing inherently wrong with being a pretty boy, but that is the only other option beside being a Macho Man. I am neither, I don't fit into any male gender physical norms. So what do you think constitutes manliness, is it physical prowess or is it genetic attractiveness?
Kind of does work as an insult. You touched on the why. It biases towards the whole vanity thing which has been derrogatory ever since democracy of the working class has been the ideal. The aritocracy was the gold standard of effeminate men and fuck those oppressive over-privileged asshats.
The boy/man dynamic makes up the other half.
Best come back to being called a prettyboy is "sorry bro, I don't swing that way". Negates the insult, questions their orientation, establishes a rejection dynamic, and puts them on the defensive. It's a lot to correct all at once, and lets you walk away immediately as the victor.
As ever, tone is key. If the spoken tone is scathing or sarcastic then it can be inferred that their intention is malign; but if they are someone close to you, speaking softly and it sounds like a compliment, thn that is how it is probably intended.
In my connotational lexicon, "pretty boy" implies many of the same things for men that "bimbo" does for women: shallowness, vacuousness, inanity, narcissism ... someone who's so busy admiring how nice he looks that he behaves as though he hasn't three brain cells to hit together.
+Emma Karen ok, so i tought about it a little more and i think i have it figured out. If someone called me pretty, i would interpret that as them describing me as feminine, and as someone who takes pride in his masculinity, i would take that as an insult. However if someone were to call me a pretty boy, i would interpret that as them saying "you put effort into your appearance, and it shows", so i would take that as an insult.
To me...yup an insult in today's English. Guys who are handsome, i.e. George Clooney or Ryan Gosling are almost pretty but have a strong persona that prohibits anyone from calling them "boy". To me a pretty boy is attractive but almost a porcelain doll.
I feel like if I called a guy "pretty", it would be meant and taken as a compliment, in fact just the other day I told a guy he had pretty eyes and it went over as a simple and casual compliment (and he was a super straight guy I barely know). But spin it as the term "pretty boy" and suddenly it becomes pretty clear that I must mean either I think he looks too feminine or too painstakingly perfectly groomed. You can be a pretty male person but the term "pretty boy" definitely has its own meaning now.
I think that it is the intent behind the words that make it an insult.
If a guy is offended when they are called "pretty" or "pretty boy" with a positive connotation, that probably has more to do with them not being comfortable in their own skin than what the other person has said.
My friends, including a gay boy, often call boys they find aesthetically pleasing "pretty".
Although this is just the opinion of a cis girl, so.
SkyFighterProductions because you're gay...half of the people in these comments are fags and proud to be so they like when another guy call them that...it suck being called a pretty boy when you're NOT gay
Insult, but the pretty is more of a descriptor. The insult is in the 'boy'. Whether 'rich boy', 'jew boy', 'white boy'... As the 'achievement' reaching maturity, no one that i know wants to be insinuated to have not reached maturity.
Here in Plymouth, UK the ones we call pretty boys dress fashionably & aim to look skinny with little muscle, at first this must have been popular for genuine gentlemen to do, eventually boys started catching on to this style as a means to get girls.
Because of this pretty boys are now seen as insincere, lazy, man-sluts. On a side note these boys leave relationships & in the process damage either girls trust, self-esteem, or add insecurity to their view of what they as a woman are worth.
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