How do you revive sexual desire after 50 if sex, pain, and discomfort go hand in hand? Painful sex is one of the main reasons women lose their sexual desire during and after menopause. Dr. James Simon talks with us about putting an end to painful sex, the importance of hormone replacement and testosterone therapy for women after 50, and other things we can do when we want to rekindle spontaneous passion and romance in our relationship after 50.
Dr. James A. Simon, MD, CCD, NCMP, FACOG
Clinical Professor, George Washington University
Dr. Simon Co-Authored: Restore Yourself: A Woman’s Guide to Reviving Her Sexual Desire and Passion for Life: http://amzn.to/2mi88j8
More videos about finding purpose and passion after 50!!
2nd Act TV is a resource full of motivation, inspiration and information for men and women over 50! Our content is focused on helping you get the most out of your 2nd half of life.
Find us Here!
Home Base: http://2ndact.tv/
YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwPd0szj4y97ZDIrwdywpkQ
Our Blogs: http://2ndact.tv/blog/
Sensuality after 50 | Vaginal pain | Painful sex | Menopause | Testosterone | Women's health
Even if your husband or partner knows you are having a lot of pain, they don't always believe that this is the issue and could care less about finding solutions with you. Our marriage is close to ending. My husband is aware of the excruciating pain I have with intercourse, yet he's willing to walk away from the marriage because I won't 'stick my hand on the hot stove' for him. This has created in me a great distrust, sadness and intense anger towards him. I would have hoped there was much more to me and our marriage that would have carried us through this difficult time. Obviously, there isn't much else more important to him, to justify staying in the marriage. Normally, I'm an outgoing person and I like to be busy, have fun along with stimulating conversation. Him, on the other hand, would be happy sitting in front of his computer. I also want to add that I am a normal, healthy weight and quite attractive (IMHO!) and I wouldn't have any problem finding another man to take his place AND enjoy my company (if I may be so honest here). So this whole thing is extremely frustrating on so many levels! I decided to find an M.D. who specializes in menopause and BHT and I started HT last week. However, I have yet to share this with my husband. Firstly, I want this for MYSELF, because I deserve to feel alive again. Even if the HT increases my libido or eliminates the painful sex, I'm not so sure he deserves me any longer since so much has been destroyed emotionally throughout this experience. This is an important subject to discuss and I hope to see a video highlighting the emotional distance that happens as a result of no sexual intimacy and which may or may not be repairable within the marriage.
Thank you, for taking the time to respond to my post. I'm looking forward to seeing this topic discussed further. I can't tell you how much anger I am experiencing right now. Practitioners are 'picking and choosing' therapies for their patients by simply omitting to give them all options, especially when a patient has specific symptoms that are not resolving. This is wrong and it is destructive and this must change. Not only is there the possibility that my marriage may end because of the collateral damage menopause has done to my body, but I also ended up being diagnosed with significant osteoporosis a few months ago. I'm active, always on the go and I run circles around my husband. To say I was shocked with this diagnosis, was an understatement. I asked my GYN 'how could my bones have weakened so much within a few years?' He responded with, 'You're white and you're small'. It just didn't add up to me and I started aggressively researching the 'why' of my osteoporosis diagnosis (I'm a retired RN). One thing I learned, smacked me in my face...I learned that I had been done a GREAT disservice! Diminishing estrogen levels is the number ONE cause of osteoporosis! Had I only been given some options years ago when I became officially 'menopausal' or perhaps after I had both my ovaries removed 2 years ago (mass on one ovary which was benign). I was postmenopausal at the time and my GYN said nothing would change, that I should feel exactly the same as I did before the surgery, because my ovaries weren't working anymore, anyways. Connecting the dots, I realized that ALL my symptoms had gone from bad to disabling after the surgery! My GYN was very aware of my symptoms and complaints, yet he never suggested anything other than, "I'll see you at your next exam". Replacing hormones almost seems like the easy part to me now. The hard part will be the damage all of this has done to my 38 year marriage. I will be talking to my two adult daughters about the importance of hormones and implore them to seek a practitioner versed in bio-identical hormones early on in the perimenopausal phase and not wait until their body (or marriage) is destroyed. Thank you for allowing me to vent on this platform! Thanks for all you do. It is SO very important to get the word out to ALL women.
Thank you so much for your open and honest comment. I completely get where you are and applaud you for seeking HT for YOU!! I chose to leave my marriage because it was past the point of repair. We did not have intercourse for 10 years, and as you reference, the emotional distance was way too far. Yes, an important topic and we are in fact working on new content focusing on just that!! I am happy to report that my hormone treatment - I chose bio-identical pellet therapy - absolutely changed my life. I did find a great new man who enjoys my company and have never enjoyed sex more than in my fifties. I wish you the best! You DO DESERVE to feel alive again, and it feels great!!!
Hi Sharon, I use the BioTE pellets. You can go to their site and read about it. Here is a link. https://www.biotemedical.com/about-biote-medical.html FYI, I don't get paid for this recommendation ... though I should :-) It made a huge difference for me, and I want to help spread the need for testosterone therapy for women. I will say that now that more and more physicians are signing on with them, it REALLY is important to find a physician who understands bio-identical hormone therapy, and understands how to dose correctly. I went from an integrative physician, to a traditional OBGYN because she was more convenient, and couldn't believe the difference in treatment with the same product. You really want someone who treats the WHOLE person, not just the woman parts. :-) For example, my integrative physician also incorporated thyroid treatment and gave me vitamin B-complex injections (I do these myself), where the OBGYN refused to consider that because "that is not what they do". Just to clarify, the OBGYN was not Dr. Simon :-).
Take between 30 and 60 minutes (and up to 4 hours) before sex; works for about 4 hoursRecommended dose for most men is 50mgs; after that, dosage may go to as high as 100mg, or as low as 25mg, which may be prescribed for men over 65.Quickly absorbed by the body, less effective after a high-fat meal, and best taken on an empty stomach. Erectile Dysfunction Drugs Comparison Chart Compare Viagra, Cialis, Levitra
Take 1 hour before sex; works for 4 to 5 hours, and may be slightly more effective than ViagraStarting dose for most men is 10mgs a day, but men over 65 often start on the 5mg pill.Can be taken with or without food, although slightly less effective after a high-fat meal. Avoid anything containing grapefruit juice; it may make side effects worse. Cialis New Viagra for femalesAchat Cialis sans ordonnanceWhat if a woman took CialisGeneric Cialis cheapest priceBuy Viagra for cheapHow does Viagra worksViagra delivery UKCialis works goodFree Viagra order online Comes in two forms. The daily pill stays effective in between doses, but may take 4 to 5 days before it begins working. The “weekender” version of Cialis can start working in as little as 30 minutes for men who take the highest dose of the drug (20mgs); it stays effective in the body for up for 36 hours.Daily pill comes in both a 2.5mg and 5mg tablet; most men start with the lower dose. The use-as-needed, “weekender” pill comes in 5, 10 and 20mg strengths; recommended starting dose is 10mg,Can be taken with or without food. Avoid heavy drinking (5 glasses of wine or 5 shots of whiskey); when combined with Cialis, it can lead to headaches, dizziness, an increase in heart rate, and a drop in blood pressure.