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How Not to Compliment a Fat Girl

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Why "you have such a pretty face" isn't exactly a compliment and other important facts about fat stigma. Resources: http://dailyfatspiration.tumblr.com/ http://www.haescommunity.org/ http://blog.twowholecakes.com/ http://www.reddit.com/r/BodyAcceptance The Facts on Fat Stigma: http://www.yaleruddcenter.org/resources/upload/docs/what/bias/weightbiasstudy.pdf Share this on Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1qqJ9A0 Share this on Twitter: http://ctt.ec/W1298 Subscribe: http://bit.ly/1l8JXv3 On the web: http://www.stuffmomnevertoldyou.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/momstuffpodcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StuffMomNeverToldYou Google+: http://bit.ly/1kNchOQ Tumblr: http://stuffmomnevertoldyou.tumblr.com/ Instagram: http://instagram.com/stuffmomnevertoldyou# Join Cristen to get down to the business of being a woman and all the Stuff Mom Never Told You about bodies, boys and the female brain.
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Текстовые комментарии (528)
SlideRulePirate (22 дня назад)
A Dentist's concerns over issues that affect their livelihood are valid.
RPG FLAMEZ (2 месяца назад)
i only complement women im attracted to
Liam Martin (2 месяца назад)
step 1: Don't
grant dandeneau (3 месяца назад)
Im a fat guy. lost 60 lbs so far. i think its important to separate loving yourself and confidence from acceptance. it is always beneficial to love yourself and confidence will take you far. however acceptance can be dangerous. when my weight made it so I couldnt do fun things with friends i refused to accept that as my reality. and through that, i have became healthier. and of course... sometimes acceptance is important... for example anorexia on the extreme end. or being a little soft and squishy. ultimately it is up to the individual on how comfortable they are with themselves. on the other hand if my daughter ate and didn't exercise, to where she was 450 lbs, and gained a heart failure problem, then it isn't just affecting her. its also affecting her loved ones who dont want her dead.... strangers should have no opinion.
red tomatoes (3 месяца назад)
Shut up ya attention craving blabber mouth, your a Blabber mouth. David Cromer.
Whitney Catalano, RDN (4 месяца назад)
Yes incredible, thank you for doing this kind of work! This is what I try to do with my channel but I'm loving how concise you are. And hell yeah for talking about weight stigma, fat shaming and your experiences with thin privilege!!
Aerodil (6 месяцев назад)
I hear "you're/she's fat" behind my back from coworkers all the time. I ended up calling them out, but they haven't stopped. I just ignore them now.
ANTIHAES (9 месяцев назад)
Do not compliment fat women. They are erection killing beast-pigs who are too lazy to change their lot in life. Instead, they have this false confidence that falls apart when they look at their repulsive, adipose laden bodies in the mirror, and they try to tell men that their fat asses are desireable, beautiful, when 99.9% of men are disgusted by them! Fatties, you can't change biology, and obesity is a sign of disease, weakness, lack of self discipline, laziness, not to mention most fat women have horrible personalities! They are narcissistic, delusional, and just plain grotesque. Don't ever compliment a fat woman, your lying to them and to yourselves. Society despises fat women, they have zero redeeming social qualities.
Skinny Minnie (10 месяцев назад)
No one ever compliments angst girl, so this is a non issue. I think the greatest complimentt would be a diet book.
Samu Fassi (10 месяцев назад)
omg your house is beautiful i love it
Vidar D (1 год назад)
just remember, obesity doesn't have negative impact on health. so don't ever think that the people who fat-shame you might actually like and value you in their lives, and want you to be healthy and therefore stay in their lives longer.
Ellen Stratford (1 год назад)
body positivity is great but if your weight is affecting your health you should not be perfectly fine with it, you should be trying to lose weight, I'm sorry if this offends people but it's true.
WontonSoupOfficial (1 год назад)
But god forbid I'm too short...why is it "empowering" to be fat, but "woman's choice/preference" when they refuse short guys.... don't get me wrong, I want to support women's rights, but it's a little unfair, especially considering that being fat is more controllable than being tall... I have no problem with gay people, but I also don't have a problem with tall or short people... it has to go both ways
Edward Terry (1 год назад)
As long as women judge men on their height, financial status, physical strength and penis size, they definitely have no room to shame men for judging women on weight.
Mike Clark (1 год назад)
what if they just arent attracted to them, yet are honestly trying to give them a compliment? if your honestly not attracted to them, but you really do think that they have a pretty face... so being honest is wrong? i would never put that OUT there but only if asked. you can't help what you find attractive, but lying is as far as i know, wrong, and as someone who was overweight for years, i hated bullshit compliments and appreciated truth far above all things. being honest to me IS the compliment that they respected me, bullshitting someone and say compliments that arent honest is cruel.
tristan roberts (1 год назад)
You've got a transatlantic accent? As a Brit, I can't hear anything from this side of the pond in it (although it doesn't sound like a "typical" American accent to me)
Arkylie (1 год назад)
At 38 years old, I'm not quite 300 lbs., and I want to become healthier (lose weight) for many reasons, but the time and energy go elsewhere (again for many reasons). However, what I am concerned about is that my nephew, who just turned 13, is darn near my weight. When we discovered this fact (having apparently been oblivious to it for way too long), he was about 250 lbs. He may be much more by now. He's got stretch marks all over his back, frequently complains about weight-related aches and pains (such as back pain), is getting more and more winded when he skates... my mom and I are very worried about what this means for his future (especially with both parents being obese, and a family history of adult-onset diabetes). I am aware that commenting about his weight offends him, and I would like to reduce that negative influence in his life. But I am not at all sure how to HELP him. He is over at our house practically every weekend for 2-3 days. We can have some influence over his diet and exercise, but he fights any attempt to get him off the computer regularly, or to reduce his intake of pop or milk or cereal etc. (all of which he consumes in very large quantities when they're available). He has a strong aversion to vegetables of any kind (including potatoes, oddly) and even to a lot of fruit (some of it's reasonable, because he's got tooth problems and acidic fruit like strawberries hurts him), and an aversion to most food that strays out of his very narrow window of what he likes to eat (e.g. Top Ramen, mac & cheese, corn dogs, chips, that kind of thing). What I know about my weight, as an adult, is that it is a constant draining force on my life. It makes me unhappy, reduces my freedom to engage in fun activities (though I can still skate, though like him I get winded easily), tires me out easily, makes certain health problems more likely, etc. etc. So when I see him like this now, all I can think is that it's easier to change your weight while you're young. He was a large baby, but until a couple years ago he had a pretty normal weight, so I don't think this is Fate. I want to help him -- maybe also at the same time helping myself -- to learn to make better decisions that'll impact our long-term health and happiness. (Including spending more time not sitting at a computer, because that's a huge chunk of what we do every day.) Any ideas or advice?
URPndJs (1 год назад)
My brother was quite heavy. He was adviced by the doctor to quit any carbonated drink, even if it was "sugar free". That was his main "adicction" as he called it. Now he just drink water, nothing else not coffe, tea or juice. It was quite a challenge for him. He also had to seek psycological advice, but real talk ask a doctor for advice and new diet not to random people on the internet. Your determination may inspire your netphew.
Skylark 7 (1 год назад)
At 2:14, that is literally my approach to all ignorant, prejudiced people: get them to try and explain their logic to me, and hopefully they'll realize how illogical it is.
VietnameseGirl98 (1 год назад)
"You have a pretty face, you'll look a lot better if you lose weight" Classic... Thanks mom.
JPPureCandy (1 год назад)
I am 63. my dark blond hair is still blond but my mustache and goatee are white (it sucks ] in addition I have twigs for arms and legs,i in addition I have a beer gut and a bald head you can see my photos at Peter cikerr on facebook. can you offer a shred of hope? By the way, l think you're brilliant
Madeleine of TARDIS (1 год назад)
As a question for anyone to answer, is it insulting to say to someone, 'your body suits you'? I know some people that are on the bigger side and they never seem happy with their weight (and for that matter, on the smaller side who think they're too fat) but whenever i see them I always think they suit their weight, if they weighed less it wouldn't work for their body type, but i don't know how that statement would be taken so i always refrain. I never say it in a negative sense (and never will) but if someone is going to find it offensive I wouldn't want to tell them it. I know I personally don't perceive it as negative but again if someone else did i wouldn't want to be accidently insulting them.
Autumn Lawley (1 год назад)
thank you so much for speaking out on this. I truly believe "fat stigma" is one of the last socially accepted stigmatized ways of thinking. just thank you so much for discussing this in such an amazing way. it means a lot
Stella Perkins (1 год назад)
I'm seeing a number of 'we want you to be healthy' comments. So, I ask of you, why? And what is your idea of healthy? Why do you assume all overweight people are unhealthy? Because being overweight does not automatically equate to poor health. Do you tell thin, unhealthy people the same thing? Because it is possible to be at a 'normal' body weight and be unhealthy. And what do you define as health, and why do you think people need to meet your definition of health? What if your definition is wrong? I think people need to stop worrying so much about other people's weight and concentrate on their own issues. Maybe learn to accept others as they are instead of trying to change them into something you feel comfortable with.
Rebecca Kennedy (1 год назад)
"you're so pretty for a big girl" thanks for that.
Rebecca Kennedy (1 год назад)
So annoying. Also "it's so nice to see girls with your figure wearing dresses, they really suit you & show your curves " Yeah I know they do bitch, that's why I wear them!
epif1 (1 год назад)
or "she has the confidence of a pretty/skinny girl" infuriating
Micah Keillor (1 год назад)
I am over weight honestly the most offending and constant comments come from family.... it isn't amusing
billion (1 год назад)
you look like sandi gardner from star citizen
Rose Anna (1 год назад)
Encouraging people to loose weight is a positive thing, only people who love you will tell you that your going to run into problems if you don't loose the weight.😬😉 And this is more focused on women because women are more obese then men in the United States. 😬
CommanderPenguin (14 дней назад)
I hate living here because all the unhealthy and processed food is so cheap, not to mention food here is high in calories and low in nutrients. Sucks when you can't even afford food that tastes good and is healthy. Frickin water costs 3 dollars while a soda costs 99 cents, might as well drink from the creek.
T H (1 год назад)
The day I signed up for my gym membership was the day I stopped obsessing over weight loss, appearance, and health shaming. Honestly, those are shitty reasons to be at the gym--they couldn't make me do anything before. It's not okay to let people hate their own bodies for over two decades.
Laura Shaw (1 год назад)
I am 13 and have massive body love issues. At my school my bothers friend said " share your food. you fat pig! you should not eat for the next week . you have too much fat". Yesterday another boy seid "move!you fat hippo". after both of these things I cried In the bathroom until I fellasleep.
Sucelly Morales (1 год назад)
I'm not overweight but I'm "the biggest" of all my sisters and brothers who obsess over exercise unlike me. for a long time I get discriminated by all my family and "friends" due to compare and contrast. I suffered from depression due to this and took a LOT of therapy and come up with the conclusion to cut ties with judgemental people who want to measure me by THEIR perfection standards. I'm not going to go on an unhealthy diet to look how they want me to. thank u for this great video, it really helped keeping my motivation up😊
TheLoneCabbage (1 год назад)
This reminds me of how I felt when I was younger. As a scrawny, nerdy kid, I had a personal bully who fucked with me so frequently, and got other people to join in, that I began to think everyone was out to make me feel bad. I would often get defensive around people who were actually being nice to me. This is a problem with the person receiving the compliment, not the person giving it.
Joshua Cook (1 год назад)
Hm mm. I don't have strong opinions on this because frankly being overweight is unhealthy and so encouraging people to lose weight is good. The problem is when techniques don't help people lose weight or worse exacerbate it. Generally, fat shaming probably does little, if any, to help. That said, sometimes crazy things work, just look at Japan.
CommanderPenguin (14 дней назад)
What things in Japan?
hinatachan96 (1 год назад)
it's funny how so many fat girls actually have pretty faces. and I am not even joking. Some are even borderline stupendous. Not all of them, but some are gorgeous. And I will mention it to them, depending on the circumstances. i've struggled with my weight quite a bit but wasn't even that fat, I mean I was 76 kg at my heaviest and now I am 64 (141 pounds) and I have received this comment. I feel that they were genuine, even tho I dont think of myself as pretty. This paranoia that they tell you just because you are fat needs to stop.
lost in my head X (1 год назад)
i understand and completely agree that its not okay to asume or to say things like "if you just lost weight you would..." or "I dont like your weight but ur style is bomb" . but to say "your face is beautiful" ...nothing wrong with that right? if not pls explain below ;)
lost in my head X (1 год назад)
o nvm i wasent at that part of the video yet
Chase Sage (1 год назад)
obesity kills people, kill obese people
Khalisah Nzee (1 год назад)
Chase Sage I think you might need to clarify what you mean, bud.
TidusPoorPants (1 год назад)
I have ehlers danlos syndrome, my knees dislocate if I walk and my hips pop out getting out of bed, as such I don't move a lot and put on about 200lbs over ten years. Now if I go shopping, and am clearly disabled with walking apparatus and a carer to help me up if I fall, people will automatically assume it is my weight that has made me this way and insult me. I've had someone take my food out of my hands at the food court and put it in the bin, telling me the whole while "you're welcome", I've had people slow down to yell "MAN THE HARPOON" as they drive past me, I have had my service at clothing stores denied because they believed they had nothing for my body type in their boutique (even though I might not have been shopping for me, and I wasn't). Fat shaming and fat stigma isn't just someone trying to shame you into wellness and fitness, it is people purposely hurting you to make themselves feel better, they don't want to end up like you so the insult is not just for someone like me, but for them to remember for themselves not to get that big. The stigma exists to scare people out of fatness, not to 'help' them get well.
Lils Green (1 год назад)
The reason it is that naturally people are thin
folumb (1 год назад)
I figured out why I like her videos so much! The way she speaks reminds me of Derek Muller of Veritasium. Maybe someone else agrees?
Rosalie Stevenson (1 год назад)
My mum is constantly bothering me about my weight because she wants me to be "healthy". Drives me crazy, but she's also fashioned.
Khalisah Nzee (1 год назад)
your weight does affect the quality of your health, on both ends of the scale. Obese people aren't healthy, but so are anorexic people.
run away pacman! (1 год назад)
Its only natural for a mother to one their daughter to be healthy.
Tabitha 'Scar' Drew (1 год назад)
Rosalie Kitchen If you're obese/overweight, then of course she wants you to be healthy because she’s your mother and she cares about you!
Akalion (1 год назад)
It drives you crazy that your mom wants you to be healthy? The fuck is wrong with you?
Elena Beatrice Martinelli (1 год назад)
since I had some bad experiences since I was a small child (even though at that age I wasn't fat at all) and I was called names bc of my body structure I always felt wrong. I was an indirect victim of beauty standards and I suffered so badly that I used to cry often. as a kid I never got to dress like I wanted to, and I only started when I turned 16. I had a wonderful period of my life in which I had a friend, my very first best friend on whom I also had kind of a crush, and I was finally expressing myself and I started wearing shorts. still, mean comments hurted like needles. then we got a bit distant and I started losing that little bit of self confidence, even if by that time I had unconsciously learnt to love myself a little bit more. two years ago, when I was 19, I confessed my love for him and even though I was rejected I felt good bc I was starting to speak my mind and I was getting stronger since I had been so shy and insecure in the past. now I'm almost 21 and I'm happy with who I am and I don't care TOO much whether I'm thin or not, even though I'm still working on my self confidence and I still don't like my weight. I also have a friend who was in school with me for the past 2 years, and she was sooo thin, all my teachers and classmates told her she was skinny and she didn't have to be caeful with calories. when those moments occured, I used to say "she looks great" or "if she's happy with her figure, that's cool" bc I thought that maybe she was struggling with her weight or she had other problems like anorexia and I ddn't want her to feel bad about herself just like I did. in about a year I 've learnt to avoid judging people, bc you don't know their background and you don't have the right to speak about things that don't have anything to do with you directly.
Jayme Square (1 год назад)
What I hate is people commenting on my weight without me asking. If it bothers you so much, do not look at me. I have learned during my life that in order for other to respect me I have to respect myself. I people saying "I am fat". If you do not want to be fat, do something about it but stop victimizing yourself. Love your body and who you are and fuck what anybody else thinks. Confidence shows. 😄
J. Miller (1 год назад)
I once was with a guy who said you have a pretty face, but your body doesn't match. I said yeah, no duh, it's because I'm overweight. I wanted to curl up in a ball and die because what he was saying was you are hot for a fat girl. I realized quickly he was the one with a problem and I eventually saw him as the loser he was, but still, I wish people would choose their words more carefully. I know a lot of people who struggle with their weight, myself included, and I would never presume they would be happier any thinner. Just the same as I know women who are thin who wish they were taller, had bigger breasts, whatever. We all struggle with things we don't like about our bodies. They are the only model we get, though, so we should treat them kindly.
Catherine Taylor (2 года назад)
Jeciti Vaz (2 года назад)
What do have to say about the fat stigma and how people don't like hearing "you're not fat" is that it doesn't help anyone. If someone needs to lose weight and be healthier, denying the issue is not going to do it justice. I admire the women that say they want to lose weight, they exercise everyday and then start seeing results. I will never give into the myth that you can be overweight and healthy, most people are overweight because they don't know how to eat properly and don't exercise (it's an American habit unfortunately). So if you're friend acknowledges that they're fat and would like to do something about it, don't say "duuhhhr! But pizza is the best!" Invite them to go work out with you at the gym, take dancing class together, go for a run, etc. Point is we need to exercise and not to look pretty but because lugging around excess body fat is hard on your body. You don't have to shame people especially friends for being fat, support them for making a healthy choice and do it too
馬行空 (2 года назад)
Not being attracted to unhealthy people is fine but treating them badly because they aren't healthy is not okay
CommanderPenguin (14 дней назад)
Anyone can be unhealthy, even if they are skinny. A skinny person who doesn't do anything and just eats is just as unhealthy as a big person who doesn't do anything. I'm not saying weight doesn't matter, because it does, you have a high chance of heart problems if you're big, but exercise is something you need, fat or not.
Hailey kay (1 год назад)
Ant Marmaud excellent way to put it
Twyla Eisenhauer (2 года назад)
its not ok to fat shame people but its fine to skinny shame people?! and hey since when is being fat ok anyways? alot of the time it means theyre unhealthy and why should we want to be around people liek that? im not saying be anorexic just be healthy god damn it!
Caitlin Cheney (1 год назад)
If you know a fat person there's less than one percent chance that you're the first person to point out that their body type and life decisions don't align with your own. They hear this all the time,and that's why it's an issue. I don't think fat people go out to ask if other people think they're fat as often as some folks would have you believe. You don't have to support anything, no one's asking you to lie. We don't even have to go into the fact that the trope of the fatty shoving pork rinds into their mouths and laughing at their doctor's medical degrees is almost 100% a strawman argument. But I will impart you with this. Regardless on what most doctors will say about obesity almost all of them agree that weight gain is a symptom of something else. Some sort of illness that is either physically or mentally hurting them. They are already struggling even in a vacuum, then you add the pressures of society to obtain a body type that they may or may not be able to achieve. Both of those factors on their own are painful within themselves. Ask yourself, do you want to be another crappy thing that happens to a human that's already suffering? Do you want to kick them when they're already most likely down?
Twyla Eisenhauer (1 год назад)
i still think that you shouldnt support people like this and say that they look good. if i see someone who is anorexic i wouldnt say "oh hey you look great" because thats enabling them. just as i wouldnt say "oh you look great" if theyre just stuffing there face and not trying to be healthy. id say to an anorexic person who is trying to eat more id say "youre doing great" not that they look great. and if someone was fat id say "youre doing great" if they were trying.
Elena Beatrice Martinelli (1 год назад)
+Caitlin Cheney I totally agree
Caitlin Cheney (1 год назад)
+Elena Beatrice Martinelli We call that in the business "concern trolling". And funnily enough, people who have done it are not often as concerned with the well being of others as they insist they are. It's more of a deflection tactic people use when they've been called out because it's easier than accepting the fact that they've been caught doing some passive form of bullying. I believe, if you're genuinely concerned with the well being of another individual, that as this lovely individual has said you would come in with something positive to say. There are numerous sources of peer checked material that reveals that making someone feel bad about their weight can actually attribute to weight gain. So in short: if you want someone to lose weight, be a friend to them. A source of positivity and support. It isn't difficult, sometimes it's as simple as asking your friend or loved one how you can help. I'm not even going to dip into the science or semantics behind whether or not you can be healthy at all sizes. I know what I believe and encourage others to go out and research so they can form their own educated opinions. Because with a controversial matter like this where there are those who feel the need to insert themselves into other people's lives and vocalize their thoughts they'd best have their fact-checking ducks in a row or reconsider saying anything. And maybe don't tell other people you don't know very well how to eat or take care of themselves.
Elena Beatrice Martinelli (1 год назад)
if you're concerned for someone's health, you should support that person, and not make him/her feel comfortable with him/herself, oherwise every effort will be useless. so please, stop caring for others' business when you're not directly involved or at least say positive stuff. i don't want to be rude, but if I had to say this to every person on this website who thinks all big people are fat and all fat people are risking their lives and you have the right to speak to them even if you only know their username I would still be here in 60 years.
Benjy Bro (2 года назад)
love how there isn't a guy version of this vid. how men look isn't focused on any where near as much. i feel sorry for ladies in that regard. this reminds me how much i dislike our food culture in Australia. compared to japan. for example. compare my town. Warrnambool. to my japanese friends hometown which she says is similar size. in my town, i wanna go down the street and buy some healthy fast food. not many if any options. there's just fish n chips, Milkbars, kfc, Maccas, hungry jacks, etc etc. to eat healthy without preparing the meal myself i have to pay extra and sit in at a restaurant or get over priced sushi. or WAY over priced mexican food. But in Japan. there's heaps more places to get food and most of them have fresh healthy food. overweight westerners tend to lose weight while living in japan. and Japanese tend to gain weight when they come to western countries.
Bawbster1 (2 года назад)
BTW - Thin people hate being called "skinny" and get just as offended by the same types of comments about their thin-ness. It's just as bad, just so y'all know!
CommanderPenguin (14 дней назад)
I would love to be called skinny instead of whale, hambeast, cow, pig/
F Jolliff (2 года назад)
I've actually been upset by how skinny people are being treated... I'm overweight myself, and I can understand the pain of people talking about you/to you and trying to compliment you "politely". But when shaming "fat" people isn't enough and those idiots start shaming "skinny" people... That's just someone disapproving of EVERY other body type than the one that THEY themselves think is "correct". Let's just stop talking about body weight, let's focus on personality and accomplishments.
CommanderPenguin (14 дней назад)
Apparently, no body type is good enough for anyone. In this day, girls are wanted as bony having big thighs and breasts, having zero muscle or fat on them and guys are wanted as being tall, muscular, and defensive. It all depends on your genetics whether you should look muscular, short, big, bony, tall, it deals with metabolism most the time for big/small people, your metabolism is really fast if you're very small, or you don't eat enough energy calories, if you're big like me, you may have a slow metabolism, or eat more than you should. Sorry about the long comment about things you probably already knew.
Sofia uranga (2 года назад)
I remember my dad telling us about a woman she saw on the street, he said she was quite overweight and was using very tight clothing. What he said that stuck with me was: "she has no right to ruin my afternoon like that". I told him that if she felt confident enough to go around in thight clothes it was her problem and she could do whatever she wanted. If he had said that he didn't find her attractive, it would have been okay, everybody has a different taste, but his comment was imlying this woman shouldn't go out on the street because she didn't fit HIS liking and therefore, didn't deserve to be a human being with the right to feel confident of herself, and go out with friends and just having a normal life. It something that really dissapoints me because i'm not a thin girl, and i have a fair share of anxiety issues regarding going out in public and my body image and people that think like my father are the reason behind them.
Fermion (9 месяцев назад)
Catherine Taylor - He didn't say anything to the woman personally, so he has every right to feel however he likes, unlike you, who resorted to direct name calling. In my opinion, you're the one that's wrong here. Besides, sometimes clothing is inappropriate for certain body types. For instance, most people wouldn't want to see a well endowed man's penis flopping around in some jogging pants and no underwear, especially in public around children. He may very well be confident in his body and find that look attractive, but that's just inappropriate.
MinaSchokolade (1 год назад)
He was out of line and you're so brave to have told him that! Some people really think that they are entitled to other peoples appearance and it's wrong. Esp. some (men) think that Women are there to visually please them and a womens body is (more than a mans) constantly on "display". We can't change what others think of us, so personally I like the saying: What other people think of me is none of my business. But I get where you are coming from, I tend to think so much about what others (might) think of me while it is (mostly) really just in my head! So I just need to tell myself, that what they think is none of my concern over and over again. Btw, if you have a good relationship with your father, maybe you could try to tell him that his objectification and dismissal of larger women hurts your self-confidence. He might not realize it and see the connection.
Catherine Taylor (2 года назад)
Your dad sounds like a very, lonely, miserable, desperate, little, pathetic man. Please do human kind a favor and DO NOT take after his image
Intellectual And Creative (2 года назад)
So although I'm not a girl, I had some people say similar things to me about how I have such a very cute face for a guy with autism. And there is also like this stereotype of autistic people "looking autistic". And what they mean by that, is that they look "nerdy or unattractive". They label autistic people with the same stereotypes for nerds because there are some very common nerdy-like traits associated with autism. And then there were those girls who were talking about other guys they considered "hotter" than me. And it was because I wasn't very muscular or started working out yet or something, or maybe about the fact that I was considered "too white" or "too nerdy" to be considered as "hot" as those guys. I didn't really like that at all. Especially when I was being compared to someone else like that. Its like saying to someone "your pretty tall for a midget" or "you look very attractive for a 144 year old".
Plain Popcorn (2 года назад)
+Autistic Cool Kid Yep, health always looks sexy :) You're doing well so I hear. And it's more than fine to be both attractive inside and out.
Intellectual And Creative (2 года назад)
+Plain Popcorn ya I get what you mean. I do focus on my looks and appearance, working out and trying to look as sexy as possible. But that's not all I focus on. I also focus on what is really important in life as well. I go to a good college and I'm working really hard. And I'm enjoying life too! :) And its totally fine to be both attractive in the inside and out. 
Plain Popcorn (2 года назад)
+Autistic Cool Kid The whole idea that someone can look autistic, as if autism comes with physical traits like down syndrome does, is very weird. Autism and nerdiness have a strong overlap, but not all nerds look like the stereotypical nerds. I have nerdy friends who don't look nerdy, and nerdy friends who look extremely nerdy. But overall attractiveness isn't based purely on physical appearance.  My autistic bf is an 8 and I am a 4, according to shallow people (like those girls who were being rude in front of you) we shouldn't be together and I should be with someone within my own league. I say screw them, if it clicks it clicks. It isn't much fun if you chose a partner based solely on physical appearance and they turned out to have a personality as boring as old toast.
Intellectual And Creative (2 года назад)
I actually accept women of all sizes. Thin, average, or obese.
Lindsay R (1 год назад)
Autistic Rebel Pride congrats!
bimsie01 (3 года назад)
When I was growing up in Los Angeles,the most body concscience city Ive ever lived in,a popular thing was to have a bumper sticker on a teenage guy's car,that said "No Fat Chicks.I cant imagine being an overweight girl in that culture.
bimsie01 (3 года назад)
"Im fat.And you are stupid.But I can lose weight."
Ultravenom1 (3 года назад)
So when half of the world is starving or dying from malnutrition, I am supposed to support these people that choose to devour tons of food and choose not to exercise? No thanks. Not for me. I'll try to be nice in person, but I will not change my internal opinion until given a reason why I should let people become like the people in Wall-E.
Ultravenom1 (2 года назад)
+John Smith I'm not against fat people, but against those who want to just consume. If you at least try to live a balanced life, that's great! If you really want to lose weight, however, do calistics. After class or during lunch, just do some push ups or jogging. It will help you lose fat weight, but you will gain muscle weight, so be warned. OH, and to lose weight, you have to exercise every day.
John Smith (2 года назад)
+Ultravenom1 I understand your opinion, but as a slightly overweight girl, that is not the only reason I am fat. I don't necessarily choose not to exercise, but I just do not have the time to exercise, nor the commitment to make time for exercise. But when I can, I join some of my relatives when they go to the gym, and I do participate in things such as PE and after-school sports. I know that for me, it is all genetics. My mom's side of the family finds it so, so difficult to lose weight rather than gain it, and I get wide hips and thick thighs from my dad's side, which also makes me look bigger. I don't know whether or not you aren't supporting all fat people or just the ones that do not live a healthy lifestyle but I just wanted to let you know that you shouldn't immediately jump to the conclusion that just because a person is fat, means that they are very unhealthy.
celia valdez (3 года назад)
Cristen yes, 100%
thecatbehemoth (3 года назад)
My sister used to be a model. She always tells me "if you lost some weight, you could be a model!" Bitch, I'm a rocket scientist. #truestory
spinemelter2000 (3 года назад)
Compliments really aren't compliments. I hate compliments because it seems like the person is humoring me. It's like telling a dog, "You're such a good boy! You fetched the ball all by yourself!" You shouldn't talk to people the same way you talk to dogs. Don't give me the straw-man argument of "What do you want people to say? That you're ugly and fat?" No, I don't see why it's necessary to comment about my appearance or my weight, especially if it's the first thing that you say to me.
Mike Adams (3 года назад)
To me, a woman's size doesn't determine her beauty. Its her personality that makes the difference.
Federica Morales (3 года назад)
People get really pissed if I call someone fat, ao I try to avoid that theme. I am aware that I am reeeeally skinny, and I don't want to offend anyone, specially about that. If I am with female friends, buying clothes, who are heavier than me, no matter what I say or do, they get offended.
Plain Popcorn (2 года назад)
+Federica Morales Maybe stop going clothes shopping with them? Or just stop being friends with them if you actually do not say a word about their bodies or their size and they still get offended.
Federica Morales (3 года назад)
Well it kind of happend to me, the way around. I have always been skinny, and always took care of what I ate, thought I jave never been on a diet. Where I live the common denominator, or what is defined as ssxy, are girls who have more "meat" than me. I have been laugh at, for not having boobs, or enough butt, or being "too skinny", BY WOMEN. For some time I wanted to change, but I've grown up, and feel prettier.
Jay R (3 года назад)
When I have tried to discuss this issue with my male friends, they usu think I am thinking "too deeply" about such issues. Although they do agree that there is a double standard, they say the main reason so many men are against fat women is because women are valued primarily by the way we look, and fat bodies simply look worse than thinner bodies.
madeline koster (3 года назад)
Just loose weight and stop complaining about how people perceive your huge frame.. Just thinking about how the meat, fats, sugar so on etc etc ruin your health and cost society money makes me feel sick. Thats why I stop myself from getting fat by living a healthy lifestyle with regular low cost food and only one portion per meal.. I dont want to cost everyone a shit load of money for hospital care, bypasses etc. I dont want to take medication.. I dont want to take two seats at a plane. The list goes on.  
TheWonderGinger (3 года назад)
I think I'm going to try calling myself fat and beautiful or fat and creative or  fat and girly.  Start associating fat as a descriptive term rather than a negative term.  Wow I already have anxiety about it.  That's a lot of stuff to work through.
Maren Kelly (3 года назад)
Thank you for this. As a " fat" girl I take so much crap for it . girls at school see that I'm overwieght and it equates in their mind as she's not a person with feelings only as she's an ugly blob of fat. I'm perfectly healthy and I call myself fat all the time and my friends say " oh your not fat at all" and that really just implies that if anyone was it would be wrong. You should do a video of compliment girl actually appreciate
Desu desu (3 года назад)
Why would you even want to compliment a fat girl? worthless slobs.
Ren Deron (3 года назад)
My recommended response to "you have such a pretty face, if you would only lose weight..." type comments would be "I like the way I look." It may sound defensive, but it's also pretty final. People are entitled to be proud and happy with their bodies, regardless of what others think and it isn't anyone's place to suggest "improvements". And any compliment which follows the pattern "you look nice, but..." isn't a compliment.
moonlily1 (3 года назад)
I remember Roseanne doing a stand up bit about people telling her she has "such a pretty face", joking that it's like saying "you'd look good if you were a head".
prunesauce (3 года назад)
I used to like chubbiness. Yes, it is very attractive to some as it was to me however  looks aren't everything and can be deceiving. There's body types for everybody. People that disliked what I used to refer to as "yumminess," stopped knocking it and found that it worked best for them in their partner and the exact same opposite can be said about people that liked it. One or the other will always work best for different folks because eyes do play tricks on us. Is still think chubby bodies are cute but the mechanics of it didn't work in practical terms which was heart breaking for me. Got getting biger nor smaller will make it work, it's just my body type, It works best with non tubby people which still look good to me. Whatever you got, big or small, don't be shy to flaunt it because you are "all that" and you are beautiful, just don't be arrogant about it, but you are beautiful and you are worthy of love.
Michelle Bean (3 года назад)
I am not fat. I HAVE fat. I am not fingernails.
Mary G (3 года назад)
instead of "you have such a pretty face" just say "your'e pretty" it's less offensive or say "you're beautiful" it wont offend anyone and is just a compliment unlike the one at the beginning
AstroMayan (3 года назад)
Here's one..... You must be a very good eater!
John Daye (3 года назад)
I don't mind fat chicks as long as they don't sweat too much - unless they stink real bad.
Seth Borneman (3 года назад)
Being overweight is looked down upon due to the fact that ultimately it is known to be unhealthy and is mostly preventable as obesity is based primarily on your food and exercise choices. Being overweight for a long period of time suggest to people that you have had time to notice the issue of your weight, and have failed to take the appropriate actions to correct the health issue. This puts out the notion that you as an individual have a lack of self control, a lack of willingness to put in a concerted effort, and a lack of concern for your own wellbeing. I have been 100+ lbs overweight before and understand the struggles associated with weight loss. But given the short amount of time that weight loss takes coupled with the health benefits of being at a healthy weight there really are no excuses to be overweight or obese for extended periods of time. I used to be content with 3-4000 cal a day, and after 6 months of diet and exercise I found myself "reprogrammed" and able to make healthy choices consistently and easily.
RLNadolny (3 года назад)
good lord. After reading through a few comment threads I am done. Why can't people just let people live in peace..big or small. Its nobody's business what anyone weighs or how many calories they consume. People have such a superiority complex. You are skinnier than me therefore you have the right to dictate what is right for me? I don't think so. Nobody pays for my medical but me and I am NOT a drain on society so what the hell do you care?
Alex Greene (3 года назад)
Indeed, Cristen, I adore your endearing mid-Atlantic accent.
Celia Kane (3 года назад)
Great video. As a woman who has fluctuated through 60lbs of weight gain/weight loss since my teenage years I can definitely say that in my experience, being heavier has been more difficult. When I have been thin, people responded to me more positively overall. I did not realize that people weren't just generally easy to interact with until I started to gain weight, and keep it. As a heavier woman, I've definitely received the comment about the pretty face and hear a lot of overtly sexualized comments about my backside, but I have also been called a "wolf" "cow" "she-beast" etc. What is even more strange is that other women are actually more cruel to me than when I was thin. Many women look down on me, even more than men I would say. Men, in general, don't usually notice that I exist. Many women, however, have blatantly looked down their nose at me, giggled at me in the gym, mocked my body at the beach, and attempted to pick up on my boyfriend right in front of me, saying "you know you're tired of f***ing that fat bitch." I know that because women are the subordinate group we are more likely to attack one another because we feel as if we cannot ever dominate men or something of that nature, but I still hate it....and I'm tired of hearing "I just don't really get along with other girls..." My point is here that we should love and support each other, men and women alike. There are mechanisms in society that work to bring us all down regardless of our size or gender and I feel like uniting as one would be way more productive (and enjoyable!) than constantly competing with each other and tearing one another down. 
Sara Fouts (3 года назад)
When people call me "fat" or tell me "You have such a pretty face, and losing weight would make you so much prettier" I just tell them "Well, I might be fat, but i'm still healthy and yes I enjoy a burger every now and then, but guess what? I don't have the time to go to the gym. You try balancing school and a job in which you have to stand the whole damn time. It hurts and I actually am losing weight because of it...oh i'm sorry, is losing weight at a healthy rate not good enough for you? Don't judge my life and predict my future simply because of my weight, because not all of us are 'blessed' with the metabolism of an olympic swimmer."
Lilly Prince (3 года назад)
Ever notice how there's women's and women's plus in clothing but there's only men's?
Grace Griffith (3 года назад)
I hate that woman and men get ridiculed for being overweight. I got made fun of for it when I was little and it finally got to the point that I just felt worthless. I kept gaining more and more weight until I was over 300 pounds. It wasn't just about my appearance anymore it was now also about my health. I don't think people should get made fun of for it, it hurts to not be comfortable with your body. However being fat isn't a good thing, in fact it sucks. Since I have lost weight(down to 245) I feel a lot healthier and I can actually find pants in my size. :D I hope to get down to 200. To sum it up I think the fat stigma needs to go but it's nice to not be fat.
Vanessa Terry (3 года назад)
Regardless of what a person weighs in essence it comes down to not being what the shammer wants you to be. If you fat you will get shammed by thin people, if you are thin you will be shammed by fat people. At the end of the day it is doing what is best for you. What people forget is that we all have different body types and are meant to be different sizes. Sometimes being fat is due to a medical condition, or they could be suffering from depression in which case your negative comment could lead to them committing suicide. Being skinny is not an indicator of health, thin people die of heart problems and cholesterol too. If someone is under or over weight it is not your place to tell them to lose or gain it unless you are their doctor and know that they are at a health risk. Basically shamming anyone based on their body is down right rude and shows a lack of compassion.  
Sammantha Sanders (3 года назад)
Despite the fact that you know you've no clue what plus size women go through on a daily basis, you defend and fight fat shaming. I applaud you for that, it's truly people like you who can help make a difference in how society views beauty. I am a fat girl, have been my entire life. I've been called a variety of names, been told I would be beautiful if I lost x amount of weight and like so many others have been made to feel unworthy. How I keep myself from feeling depressed about these rude words I list off all the wonderful things about me: I am a kick ass mom I am a great wife My big ass makes leggings look better I always have great hair I'm pretty damn funny I can make awesome steak My big butt gives my dogs an excellent place to nap I can eat pizza and ice cream without guilt because I give no fucks what anyone else has to say I have better blood pressure and overall health than my friend who is half my size. Just gotta look at all the great things about you. Never stop laughing, or smiling. Because life is too damn short to worry about snickering teenagers or snotty fat shamers. Be yourself, that's all the people who love and care for you want from you.
Taylor Venus (3 года назад)
I wrote this a year ago.  Is about this same subject...  I realized as I’m going through my morning Pinterest hour, that there are images of women, with really beautiful fit bodies, I looked at them and realized that I never will ever have that body, though in my mind for the longest I beat myself for not looking like that, simply because I didn’t have the discipline and the dedication it takes. Then it hit me, I don’t want to have a tight ass like that, it takes way more time that I want to take away from my family, my God and my work… it’s that okay, does that make me a lazy ass loser, because I work out maybe 3 times a week, and the other times I dance around my kitchen while making a nice Paleo meal.  Listen I tried it all, from Weigh t Watchers to vegan, to vegetarian to not eating everything and all with no mind at all, and though I lost weight here and there,  I’m still between size 12 – 16… though I prefer 12, at 16 I’m still Taylor, but a bit more of me that I don’t’ really need.   I want to be healthy don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to jiggle, I want to be able to run, dance, work hard, pick up heavy stuff, but I don’t want to spend my life working out and feeling not good enough because the truth is, working out is secondary to everything else.  I rather go for a walk, I rather listen to 80’s music and dance until the bottle of wine is gone.  As much I as think I tried working out is not my priority, and for years I carried that guild.  Today I’m 46 years old and though I see my skin thinning out, I see the beauty that I am, I see where my good is wanted and who truly appreciates me.  I feel at home with a camera on my face… I like to kiss my kid all over her face and tell her I love her.  I love staring at my husband when he is not looking, he is so freaking handsome; I love to hear my best friend voice is home to me, I like to talk very fast Spanish with my mom, bring me back to who I am, a strong Latina.  I love to cook easy fun and healthy meals that my family just love and can’t walk away from.  Not being perfect has taken a lot out of me, because I felt like I could be better but I was too lazy.  I not lazy--- far from it, I wake up at 4:30am and go to sleep at 11pm—the entire time is dedicated to.    I no longer care if my legs have cellulite , I don’t care if my belly has a small roll on it… or that I have stretch marks because I didn’t have my best friends genes.  I no longer care if my hair is out of control, curly is who I am… a battle I’ve been fighting for quiet sometime.  I take care of my soul, my love for God and Jesus, and the fact that finally I have an amazing relationship with them.  I love that I get love from the strangest places… like the bus driver that takes me to work every day, or the coffee lady that gives me a hug and tells me she loves me, from the security lady at the capitol that calls me by my first name, even the Capitol Police dog likes me and make sure he stops to greet me…strange but true. I work on my ego daily, I feel when it’s trying to lead me, and the battle I have with it, I now recognize when angels are talking to me, or slapping me when I’m purposely ignoring them.  I feel when bad energy walks up to me with evil intentions, I feel when there light all around me, I think I even feel the holy spirit at times – I saw angels not too long ago dancing around me, not kidding you.  I have my moments of darkness, but I now recognize it fast enough that it doesn’t take over me.  My purpose in life has changed, and though I sit at an office every day, wishing to be somewhere else, I know that somewhere else is around the corner and God needs me to be patience’s, so I wait.  Finding who I am, took a while and I’m still in search of more… I am a Goddess in progress so there’s no ending to where my spirit will go, freedom is beautiful. I’m fearless and curse like a sailor if I get angry enough---I’m working on that part really hard, God doesn’t like ugly; a friend told me once… but while watching TV, all bets are off … I can’t see anyone cry, I cry instantly… I do it all the time at weddings while photographing them, I’m also a bit of a flake, don’t like that about myself, but it’s true—I have grammar issues, but I think in Spanish, that is my excuse.   I’m extremely organize but I let go at times and then I go nuts about it—no I don’t need medical help, is part of the entire story.    If I died tomorrow, I know that my soul will continue, not sure if I come back as a human… possibly as a guide, wouldn’t mind being an Angel, I think I will look super cute in wings.   I have so much more to accomplish here still, but no longer carrying a baggage of “ I’m not good enough”  stopping me from doing what I’m supposed be doing.  Yes, I have fears; it’s good to have some fears--- its part of the big picture.  I am what I am… perfect in my own un-perfect way.  
Arturo Sánchez (3 года назад)
I hate fat people...that hate being fat or that say they are ok with being fat and always wear a shirt at beach or pool. And being fat is just not practical...I have a friend that takes taxis everywhere because he can't walk it. If you have to take a taxi to travel 10 blocks...you are so fucked.
Birgitte Andersen (3 года назад)
Many women, no matter how hard they try, cannot lose weight because they have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). This has been shown to cause weight gain. My sister and favorite artist both have this syndrome. My sister works out and eats healthier than most people I know, including myself. I also have this syndrome, but with different side effects. 
Mando Pando (3 года назад)
-_- there's actually a group of fat people that want to push forward legislation about discrimination toward them for being fat. They actually say if gays and affirmative action is legal why can't their legislation. -_- these are the same turds that compete in Miss Plus america, with 500 pound women competing in XXXXXXL dresses to win a prize for a life time of KFC membership and have their picture placed in some magazine that tries to convince everyone that "everyone (even people that don't take care of their bodies are beautiful."  Don't compliment anyone unless your really mean it. Being nice to someone can give them undue confidence to stay the way they are -_- there is enough of that
Clarissa Hargis (3 года назад)
My step father told my mother that I would be pretty if I lost some weight. She relayed this information to me like it was a compliment. For one, I am pretty. For two, my attractiveness is none of my step father's business. Thar. That's all.
Anna Purcell (3 года назад)
You're absolutely right! Your attractiveness is your step father's buisnesses. You are a beautiful personality and I hope you know that.
Gumdrop Buttons (3 года назад)
The comment I hear sometimes is 'I'm just concerned about your health being that big' from family i guess it's easier to take.  But when someone who doesn't even know me does, it makes no sense at all because they don't know ME, if I have any medical reasons that contribute to this etc etc.  Basically what I'm saying is, that people who claim 'oh I'm just concerned for your health' it doesn't mean anything, and I have the feeling that most of these people are judging me on a first visual impression without knowing anything about me.  Why do total strangers think it's okay to make comments like this? Thanks for the video, Cristen.
Isabella Tilley (3 года назад)
Many of the commentators for this video who are fat-shaming and making nasty comments about how fat people are going to die early and how unhealthy it is to be overweight seem to be forgetting about mental and emotional-wellbeing. It is also very important and crucial to one's health to be happy, and fat-shaming certainly does not help one to feel good about their body.
truediva18 (3 года назад)
Fat shaming is just wrong on all sides. We have people saying that big girls are shameful and they need to lose weight, calling them a pig or cow. Then you have big people saying that skinny people are evil. They even have a theme song-All About That Bass. Yes, for years big people have been ridiculed for being big. But who are we as "fat people" to tell people that being skinny is a sad thing. The golden rule should come into play here. Respect yourself. Love yourself. But do this without tearing down everyone else. 
truediva18 (3 года назад)
+Lydna Rose The fact that anyone can be okay with being called a bitch, I don't feel for them at all. Such a word with negative connotations. We have gone from insulting others to beat others to the punch by insulting ourselves. 
Lydna Rose (3 года назад)
Uh, the song is not about skinny shaming in the least. Seriously one comment in a whole song does not equal skinny shaming. I am so tired of this stupid argument. Its a freaking song about loving your body and one comment where the word "skinny bitches" is used and we freak lol. Seriously some girls love being called skinny bitches lol anything is better than being a fat bitch to them lol. Get over yourself with this petty song.
truediva18 (3 года назад)
I choose not to argue with you. I have read the lyrics. I didn't like the message. That's it.
DemJem (3 года назад)
Do your fucking research, 'All About That Bass' is NOT skinny shaming, it is for body positivity. Listen to the actual lyrics and edit your comment omfg
truediva18 (3 года назад)
"drop that baby already", "you have a pretty face", your rack is amazing, but the rest?"  "spanx could be your friend"--just some of the things that I hear when I go about my days. 
Hanna Amanda (3 года назад)
I've never been skinny, i've been chubby, fat and some what "normal". I also have a B.E.D which make me lose and gain weight a lot from time to time. Now a day's I don't really care how I look (only when I have PMS or have my period some times) because I eat healthy, non processed food and I exercise on a regular basis. I'm a very introvert person and that makes me satisfied with just being me, I know my flaws and they are ok. Also, if i was skinny I would not have any curves at all because my hips are super narrow. The thing for me is that I realized that it doesn't matter how other people see me, it only matters how i see my self. 
Zöe (3 года назад)
One thing that I've always wondered is, what is "FAT"? As in, these people who are being insulted three times a day, are they just a bit above average or severely overweight? I ask because I want to know when the change from "thin to fat" happens. Twenty pounds overweight? Fifty? I am overweight, but don't feel like I am being insulted or that I am not attractive (except for some days when I am being an emo) or that men don't want me. So really, what is "fat"?
Aru (2 года назад)
+Zoe Harvey it's honestly really subjective. i've seen girls be called fat even when they are a healthy weight. so I'd assume it it ranges.
Valera999 (3 года назад)
I am not a project...quit trying to "fix" me!!!  This is what I think I would say to those who want me to be "happy"
Angel BrittanyXO (3 года назад)
I never really realized how old weight stigma is until my one day I was watching tv with my mom and we were talking about an this actress we had seen and my mom said "she's pretty for a big girl" and I just thought it's never appropriate to say that in any other situation, why say that about someone's weight? More conversations like this need to be had.
Randy Wright (3 года назад)
Its the attitude of the person pretty or ugly comes from the attitude inside is what people look at I've known skinny people that are ugly with a bad attitude and fat with an awesome but there is to big tho get rid of the front butt I'm by no means skinny
Cesar Coll (3 года назад)
I respectfully dissagree Cristen ;) I think if you like something about a person, it is always a good idea to tell them. If they feel insecure about their weight, then ANY compliment on ANYTHING else can sound as an eufemism: "You have such a great sense of fashion!" "You have such a great voice!" "Your caligraphy is impecable!"  But, if we take that course of action, we would only be complementing people that have NO FLAWS. I don't like that world.
Mark Belain (3 года назад)
I tried to temporarily unsubscribe from you over the generic "well technically these videos have nothing to do with my current math studies, and I may focus better by not seeing the channel for a while;" just one minute in, however, and I immediately resubscribed on the simple stance of "Whether she helps me study math, this is a person I should keep in my life".  Youtubers like you are what help me feel grateful to be a part of this great big thing called humanity.
Libby’s Journal (3 года назад)
Now I really truly wish that we were all taught from like 10 to being adults that size is not an indicator of the health club in size and if things aren't working it's the clothing not you I can't we all just learn to see how people of all sizes are beautiful especially for me as some of the most beautiful women I've ever seen are on the plus size so I don't understand if the insurance weeks payment curve wires her not seen as beautiful
Kimberly Hauersperger (3 года назад)
I have a friend who skinny shames people every we go out somewhere. like saying her back runs right into her legs or saying stuff like LOUDLY someone needs a hamburger...and things of this nature! and it makes me and my boyfriend embarrassed wail with him. but not wanting to be spot lighted we ignore his rude comments...thoughts?  

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