Did you want to have children but were unable to have children? If so, how has childlessness affected your life after 50? Thousands of women (and men) over 50 were stripped of the choice of having their own children and left devastated. How did you cope with the news that you were unable to have children? If you are childless over 50, and not by choice, you have likely lived through a roller coaster of emotions that significantly influenced the course of your life. How did you channel your yearning to be a parent? Today, Paige Valdiserri shares her moving story about discovering she was unable to have children, the ensuing emotional roller coaster of trying to adopt, and her subsequent journey of healing and coping with childlessness. We would love to hear your input and advice on coping with childlessness after 50. Please leave us your comments below.
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Find more information on Paige Valdiserri, click here. She is a great resource for Women and Men after 50.
More videos here about emotional health and happiness after 50!
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This is why feminism is a cancer. It fools women into thinking they have infinite time to bear children. Reality check is, you don't. You were not biologically wired to spend your fertile years pursuing careers, careers that used to be held by men btw, and when you do this you will pay the price in the end as you will likely end up single, alone and miserable, or married but childless and unable to do anything about it.
Relying on more delaying methods from medical science is not the answer, and these avenues are dangerous because they band-aid a glaring problem: the dangers of denying the natural roles that millions of years of evolution wired us to undertake. When you fight nature you only wind up beating yourself.
I feel for the woman in this video, she seems like a sincere person, but her story should be used as a cautionary tale, unfortunately it's unpopular to tell women in western society to make natural choices these days. Instead, we're supposed to lie, tell you that you can do all the same things men can (even though a mountain of concrete scientific evidence says you absolutely can't), and "You go girl! You go for that career! Have those kids whenever you want!"
This is total madness and it's NOT working.
Thanku so much for that video.That was GREAT!/
I'm 40yrs old female, no kids ,- & I kinda feel like I dont want them.. I just feel like I couldn't give it 100% so I just can't. I am concerned wen I get older, I mite regret it, but also think , by the time I get a bit older- friends that have kids, would have been a grown up and moved out of home so it mite even out a bit.. I dunno, (also there's the thoights of adoption or maybe later if my body allows, its more harder cause pressure of OTHER PEOPLE Asking or thinking I should have, n just like her I try to think maybe other lifetimes I had/or will have 10kids... Its a hard one sometimes ,
Thank you thank you thank you! I’m 39 and I’ve been struggling with infertility for 3 years and my chances are slim to none with my situation. I constantly worry if I’ll ever “be ok” without children. How will I feel when I’m 45/50? It terrifies me. I’m slowly coming around and trying to surrender to whatever will be. Your points about “different ways to mother” hit home for me. I’m the favourite aunt and pseudo aunt to my sister’s an friend’s daughters. Maybe I need to nurture my relationship with them. Thank You so much for posting and sharing this difficult topic!
This is the result of unabated proliferation of the counterculture, hatred for men, consumerism, selfishness, etc. I can imagine how Paige would have acted when the "train was still at the station". Well done.
here comes the INDIAN with the typical lecture to promote breeding .... well, this is a very minor problem compared to what is happening in INDIA .... bloody 20 million children r orphans and uve the audacity to tell people to breed more...why cant u tell people to adopt ...that time when and why ur "timely train" derails???
oh yeah!!!! They even tell you the young mother won't even look at you for adoption. YES it's crazy. And AARP has this article about how older people are adopting but they don't say how or with what agencies. It's just the usual media nonsense. And YES they do look at the woman over the man even in America. My husband is 13 years younger than me. If I am not here chances are he will be but he doesn't appear to count. Why? Don't even get me started about what family members do. I just spent the holidays with my husband's parents, who sorta ranted at me the last time I saw them i shouldn't adopt, going on and on about some cousin wanting kids. She had atopic pregancy's so she needed IVF and just how much they wanted her to succeed. Well, why is it OK for her and not for me. WHAT??? It's so crazy and confusing. What makes them think they have the right to tell anyone they should or shouldn't have kids. Where do they get the gaul. So needless to say this has created a big void for me with them.
I'm a guy and I'm looking up all the available adoption options.
There are agency adoptions and there are private adoptions.
As a guy, I missed my opportunity to have a child. After my wife and I lost our first child through a miscarriage, we never conceived again. I'm younger than my wife, not by much but I am younger.
My wife has two children from a previous marriage. They are all grown up. I'm okay with that. I'm not trying to diminish that. By us having another child, its not meant to replace her children, but to add to the family.
That being said, "I never became a father in the true sense."
I agree that there are a lot of hurdles, and it does get harder as time goes by.
About two years ago, I put by savings for the potential of future adoption.
To be honest, there isn't the same support of adoption vs having one of your own.
So my goal through adoption is purely out of selflessness.
I think about all the children that are orphaned because they are born with a disability. If given the opportunity, I would take care of them rather then have them spend all their life in an institution.
I prayed about it. In the end, God knows and I trust in God.
I'll follow all the procedures, I'll get the checks, Homestudy, but I haven't really failed if I never even tried.
The very worst that could happen despite my best efforts would be that I would fail. If I fail than may I be the best failure I can be, but until I get a definite "No, you are not suitable," I'm going to give it my best shot. I know that no matter what happens that God is for me and not against me.
Would we prefer a baby? Yes.
Would we be open to the possibility of an older child? Possibly
I've mentored before and I know all about children with special needs and the responsibilities it involves.
Tsaria, when one door closes, another door opens. Don't give up. If this is something you really want to do than don't worry about failing. Stand boldly and respectful before the agency or adoption specialist and just give it your best shot.
If you fail, it doesn't mean you are a failure. We are worth more than one others think about us.
The odds look like they are not in my favor, but I have not given up. Be encouraged.
Since my wife and I are heavily investing into an adoption fund, we are delivering on the hope that if enough funds are put into the fund that it will help us to add to our family in the future.
I'm 29 years old and was told i couldnt have kids at age 19. Every since, I've felt lost not knowing what I really wanted in my life anymore. I'm an artist which I love. But my main goal in life was to have a family. Met my fiance at age 27 and told him about it before we even made our relationship official. He's there for me through it all but part of my still wish I could experience the wonderful joy of being a mother to my own children. Something that will never happen..
Can I be 100% honest? My mom is a different person -- kinder, infinitely more patient -- at 65 than she was at 35. One of the things i struggle with is explaining to my spouse why i have so much resentment toward her, because she has evolved into such a laid back person, so now when people meet her they dont believe how hard i had it as a kid. I think had she been older when she raised me, things would not be this way. I think, in general, older moms have the life skills to be better moms.
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